A Couple of Maybes: Being A Comforter

Hello lovelies!

Today I wanted to talk about something that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently.

Often when people have problems and worries they seem to come to me, whether that be to rant, to ask for advice or just to cry.

Sometimes I can find this a little frustrating as it can feel like people only want me when they have something wrong, and that they don’t really care about my own problems and issues.

I’ve also often been feeling rather emotionally drained with the burden of everyone else’s problems on my heart. I’m one of those people who can’t bear to see other people hurt or upset, and have spent several nights lately crying over other people’s problems, even if they have nothing to do with me!

I also find myself often feeling really, well, guilty I guess, when I feel upset over something small in my life when I know that someone else’s problem is so much bigger, if that makes sense?

Recently I’ve realised that actually being a comforter can be such a blessing to people when they need help, and it must show that they trust and love me, which has got to be a good thing, right?

Maybe being the person people always come to isn’t so bad, maybe it’s just my role, just who I am.

Maybe that’s who I’m meant to be.

Maybe not being the super popular and cool person is a good thing.

Maybe I’m meant to just be a helper behind the scenes, holding everything together, and not the main centre of attention.

Maybe that’s okay.

Maybe one day I could make a difference to someone in a big way.

Maybe.

Over to you…

Do you ever feel like this? Are you a comforter, or is there someone who you always go to when you have problems? It would be lovely if you could comment below, along with anything else you would like to say!

Also, I just wanted to let you know that if you ever have a problem or just something you want to get off of your chest, you can always email me at graciellen@hotmail.com, or contact me through my Twitter or Facebook pages, the links for which should be in the sidebar >>>

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19 thoughts on “A Couple of Maybes: Being A Comforter

  1. I don’t think you realize just how much I can relate to this. I honestly feel the exact same way a lot of the time; that people always come to me for help but they don’t care about MY problems. Although I’ve also came to the same conclusion, that being that comforter is truly an honor. It shows people trust you and respect you and how you live your life enough to come to you when they have trouble in their own. I don’t know if this makes any sense but yeah… Great post Grace! ^.^

    ~M.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow you summed that up so much better than I did in a whole post haha!! Aww thank you so much, that’s really sweet of you 🙂 I’m not sure what I think of the post to be honest though haha! And yes, that’s so true and helpful ❤ xx

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  3. Hi Grace. Sometimes people do come to me (for whatever reasons they might have), sometimes they don’t (and I believe they have reasons for this as well). So I guess it works both ways. I mean, even comforters need comfort, right? The fact that people don’t offer a helping hand (or a ‘welcoming ear’) doesn’t necessarily mean indifference. Maybe they’re holding back. Maybe all we need to do is just ask. 🙂

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  4. Recently I have been thinking wrongly. I felt that I didn’t have many friends to go to at school. But maybe when I need someone to talk to I should go to my mum or my friends outside of school. At school maybe I’m the one who should be there for everyone. I want to be known as the kind, caring girl who will always help. Not the girl who no one is sure about what her personality is. I need to be more confident but at the same time I don’t to make an effort to be noticed – I don’t need to try and be cool.
    Thanks for this post! I love it and thanks for sharing your feelings about this topic to us all xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Basicly, if that didn’t make sense, I meant that people do come to me but I would like people to come to me more and trust me as a kind, helpful person. My aim is not to be the cool girl but to be the kind girl.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So sorry I forgot to put something in my comment :/
    I want to help other people even if they don’t worry about how I feel. Ocasionally I feel invisible and all my thoughts and feelings are trapped inside my head. But I want to help others. I need to ask people for help if I want help.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hiya lovely! I’ll try to reply to all of that in one comment! I completely understand what you are feeling and that is exactly how I feel too, which I was kind of trying to explain in this post 🙂 I would love people to think of me as someone they can come to when they have problems, knowing that I won’t judge them and will try to help as much as I can.

      I struggled when I started secondary school to find people I could talk to about things, but over the past four years I’ve realised that actually being the kind girl can make you the cool girl too! I’ve found that it’s better to be known for being kind and loving than for being ‘popular’, and by being someone that people feel comfortable talking to, you can make so many lovely friends.

      Hopefully that makes a bit of sense, my advice would be to just keep working at being kind and showing people God’s love. Also, try to find people that you feel comfortable talking about any problems you have to (whether that be certain friends from school, outside of school, your family, or feel free to chat to me about them if you would like to!), so that you don’t feel like no one cares.

      And (last but not least!) remember that God always cares and has time for you, so you can always chat to Him about everything 🙂 sorry this is awfully long, I hope you got the gist!

      Graciellen xx

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      1. Thank you for your message!
        I have made some new friends this week and I really think that God has helped me so much through all that.
        I think I am starting to be known more and also known more as the kind one which is amazing!
        Thank you so much for your advice! This blog has really helped me recently as I have struggled to find friends at school to go to xx
        I also talked to one of my new friends about the church I go to and she sounded very interested so I said she could come to church one day. She said the church I go to sounds really cool! 🙂
        My week has been awesome

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yay!!! You have no idea how happy that made me 🙂 I am so so so glad that 1) You’ve been finding my blog helpful (the idea that anyone would really amazes me haha!) and 2) that you’ve made some new friends and had some good conversations with them, which is amazing! You are such a kind and lovely person, I’m sure people don’t find it hard to think of you as the kind girl! Also, that’s incredible that you’ve talked to your friend about church and she seems interested, super brave of you! *high five* xxx

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  7. Yup I’m a comforter. But the thing is I don’t really know why because Im never quite sure what to say. I think I think in a different way to my friends so what I would do in their situation is probably different to what they would do. And then I feel bad that I couldn’t help them. But this post is really helpful. Thank youuuuu xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh I FEEL YOU! Like I swear all the advice I give people makes no sense and isn’t helpful at all, but people always seem to keep coming to me for help haha! We should make a little group of comforters though, *comforters unite!* xx

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